Tender Mercies ~

This Christmas season has been a slightly challenging one for me. I typically love this time a year and all the fabulous things that come with it. Unfortunately with work being as unrewarding as it’s been the past several months, I have really been an “angry elf”. My poor husband gets the brunt of it most days (the joys of working together He He He) the sad thing is that I have tried harder than I thought possible to have a great attitude and make myself have the spirit of Christmas. I joined not one, but two stinking Christmas choirs so I could sing all the wonderful Christmas music and feel so peaceful. Well, while it was nice and all, sadly it did not spark the Christmas light inside me. So I tried Christmas shopping, I usually love being out in the crowed and getting things for my loved ones, well going back to the “angry elf” I could not stand anyone, I could not get out of stores fast enough, I was completely irritated by everyone! My life is always so rushed and I’m constantly feeling like I can hardly keep my head above water. I was unable to find time to send out Christmas cards this year. I was unable to get everyone that perfect gift that you just know they will absolutely love. I was unable to do a lot of things that I would normally do. To top it off, this is the first time in almost 5 years that I can honestly say I hate my job. It’s sad to me because I use to love my job, I get to help people all the time and it has always been very rewarding for me. Since I took on this project in Arizona and have had to get use to people not being as grateful as I’m use to and to daily deal with rude, hardened, thoughtless, downright not nice people, I have changed. I have hardened myself. So I had to turn elsewhere to fulfill this horrible void this season. I prayed with all my heart to find a way to be softened and to FEEL what I so desperately needed to feel. The feeling, that uses to come so natural to me.. …..All I had to do was ask... Then, the Lords tender mercies poured down on me, like they do so many times if I’m in the right spirit to receive them. I was given the opportunity to teach sharing time in primary on Sunday. It was on centering Christmas around the Savior. Finally, the light came through, once I stopped long enough to focus on my Savior, once I stopped and took a deep breath and looked into the faces of my daily tender mercies that I have been entrusted with here on this earth, I was completely and indisputably once again complete. My blessings have grown even more since then; I had the great pleasure of selecting a few families to help out this Christmas season and to be the one to deliver the news to them. It gave me the opportunity to find people on my property that would not only need but appreciate this. I had to truly look for the good in people and I have not really allowed myself to have a different opinion then the typical rude people I usually encounter. The immense joy that these people showed, the tears that fell down their faces, their speechlessness were priceless. The spirit of giving is alive and well. I know that my family and dear friends will forgive me of all that I was “unable” to do this year, they all know that I love them with every piece of me and while at times I I’m sure they get sick of my pity parties, I know that I am loved by every single one of them. Merry Christmas ~